Your Battle Scars

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Khalil Gibran

Scars, whether physical or emotional, are what remain once wounds have healed. For some, they represent a constant reminder of a tough life, becoming triggers for self-pity and a means to garner sympathy from a scar-ridden world. For others, scars are badges of honor collected from tough battles fought. The tougher the battle, the deeper the scar; for them, a scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed.

The difference in how people perceive their scars depends on what they focus on. Children show their scars like trophies, proud of them and unafraid of collecting more; their focus on the wounds is short-lived. They possess a knack for swiftly shifting their focus to whatever makes them happy, avoiding self-pity and self-loathing. Scars become trophies they collect while playing the game of life, their way.

Physical scars tend to make the skin rough; similarly, emotional scars make you tougher and more able to withstand and be less affected by similar wounds in the future. They help build resilience and determination.

Just as physical scars result from accidents, most emotional scars are the direct result of unmet expectations. If you enter a romantic relationship with expectations of a forever-after story, you are setting yourself up for major hurt if the other person walks away. Similarly, choosing friends who do not share the same core values as you is a sure recipe for disappointment and hurt when those friends inevitably live by their own set of values instead of yours. In a way, this kind of wound is self-inflicted, isn't it?

Ideally, one should avoid such wounds by lowering expectations and being clear on their values, associating only with people who share at least the same core ones. If you highly value freedom and end up with an insecure, jealous person, any wounds you suffer result from ignoring the warning signs and throwing yourself into the middle of their internal battle, suffering the collateral damage.

Scars tell the story of your life. A scar-free life means a passive, fearful life, one of avoidance and withdrawal. Be bold and make mistakes; you get cuts and bruises when you delve deeper into the woods, and it is there that the wonders lie. This is where you collect the memories that will make you smile at the end of your days when you look back at your life and think, “Hell yeah, what a ride this has been!” Because that’s all life is, just a ride, and you get to decide whether you enjoy it and scream from the top of your lungs in excitement or from your wrenched gut in terror. It takes courage to choose, and the choice is yours. What will it be?